Restaurant owner says dining room is ‘not a playground’ as etiquette experts weigh in on viral debate

A California restaurant owner went viral for asking parents to control their children while dining and warning that they will be responsible for any damage their kids cause to the restaurant’s property.

Chez Xue, located in Foster City in the San Francisco Bay Area, posted the notice more than a year ago, but it only recently went viral after a picture of it was posted on social media.

“Please control your children,” the notice reads. “Chez Xue is a family-friendly restaurant. However, we are not a playground. Please ensure children REMAIN SEATED at all times and respectful of fellow guests and the dining environment. Running around, shouting, making noise with utensils, etc. WILL NOT BE TOLERATED! Guests not respecting this policy may be asked to leave. We will hold parents financially liable for all damage caused by their children to restaurant property.”

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The post drew about 1.7 million views and a flood of reactions.

“Our intention was not to start some sort of debate,” Chez Xue owner You You Xue told Fox News Digital.

Rather, the policy is about keeping order in the restaurant, he said.

“The policy is common sense, and the reaction is a little bit confusing,” Xue said.

Still, Xue said “the vast majority” of customers and the public have been supportive.

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Children’s behavior at his restaurant has deteriorated over the past year, Xue said, prompting him to post the notice. Parents increasingly seem to be “abdicating personal responsibility” when it comes to raising their children, he said.

“This is not a fine. This is about basic respect.”

He recalled children running through the restaurant “like it’s a racetrack” while servers carried large bowls of hot soup, flaming clay pots and sharp knives. Other children have climbed on outdoor umbrellas or carved designs onto custom wooden tables while parents watched without intervening, he said.

Xue also recalled seeing a parent change a child’s diaper on a dining table next to other customers.

In another instance, a parent handed a standalone credit card machine to a child, who dropped it and shattered the screen. Xue said the parents ultimately paid $327 to replace it after initially trying to negotiate a lower amount because the machine had already been used.

“We’ve had to twist parents’ arms a few times or threaten legal action,” Xue said. “Most parents would prefer to just avoid this to begin with.”

Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, founder of the Protocol School of Texas in San Antonio, said businesses have every right to establish expectations for customer behavior.

“No customer wants to eat off the table from another customer who just changed a diaper on the table, regardless of whether or not it was previously cleaned,” Gottsman told Fox News Digital. “It’s simply unhygienic, unappetizing and can hurt business.”

Restaurants also provide an opportunity for parents to teach children patience, manners and consideration for others, Texas-based professional development expert Jan Goss told Fox News Digital.

“Children need these opportunities to learn how to function in public spaces,” said Goss, who raised three biological children, has eight grandchildren and has reared more than 50 foster children.

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She acknowledged it can be difficult for toddlers to sit still for long periods, but allowing them to run around a restaurant creates a safety risk for everyone.

“It’s all about respect,” she said. “It’s not restrictive. Respect allows everyone to be able to enjoy the same space.”

Some news outlets have reported that Chez Xue is fining parents.

“This is not a fine,” Xue clarified. “This is about basic respect.”

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Xue’s restaurant remains “family-forward,” and he noted that about 98% of children who dine there are well-behaved. Xue said he has no plans to ban kids.

“It really is the parents who aren’t doing their jobs,” he said. “We’re not going to allow the few to ruin it for the many.”

He encouraged parents to treat dining out as a privilege and teach children to respect a restaurant as they would someone else’s home.

“I’m not trying to be condescending,” Xue said. “I’m really just trying to be transparent with my customers.”

Kids are not born knowing restaurant etiquette, Goss added, but the restaurant environment can be “a great teachable moment that benefits children for the rest of their [lives].”