The sun is shining this morning in Buffalo, New York as I pump out an edition of Friday Screencaps before hopping in the car for the drive back around Lake Erie to a whole different world from what I just experienced in Orchard Park.
My mission going in from my boss was simple: Go ask questions, talk to the people and document the opening of the new Highmark Stadium. What I experienced was what I suspect it’s like to be on a drug-induced trip like those people in San Francisco experience where they’re taking dumps in the streets and hunched over in paralysis as the drugs run wild through the bloodstream.
Gameday in Buffalo is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve been to all the biggest mainstream sports experiences in the U.S.
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The locals don’t even blink at the sight of guys like this who are about to delete 32 beers.
The real members of Bills Mafia have their own looks. Thousands of looks. They don’t even blink at a 400-pounder walking around with his rack hanging out. This is a place where adults make the pilgrimage to the legendary Pinto Ron and Pizza Pete tailgate spot in the Hammer Lot where Pinto Ron’s team of merry pranksters pour shots of liquor into a bowling ball finger hole.
Drinking the shot is just one part of the routine. Throwing the ball to the ground and then blowing on a vuvuzela is also included in the bit. For the ladies, Ron’s crew provides cherries that are dangled over their faces. Most of the classy women will not suck the cherry off the stem. Some, however, go for the full experience.
I assume the cherries have been soaked in moonshine.
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Hundreds and hundreds of people drink the shot out of the same hole over the course of a tailgate. Sanitation isn’t a thing here. The liquor kills the germs.
Pinto Ron’s team also cooks right on the hood of the most famous Pinto in Buffalo. Bacon and dogs were on the menu Thursday. Yes, I’m told the Pinto runs.
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Meanwhile, about 20 yards from Ron’s holy grail of tailgating, Lions fans had their own headquarters. That’s where the infamous Tubgaters held court with their traveling hot tub that is mounted on a trailer. The owner tells me that when he rolls into town, he’ll pull up to a house and ask the locals if he can fill up his tub. On Thursday, he had the water up to 98 degrees, but he assured me it could get up to 115 degrees for those really cold winter nights.
Buffalo Bills games are Disney World for NFL tailgating debauchery, but there’s a method to the madness. People are cordial. Free food is very common. It’s everywhere. Free liquor is everywhere. Friendship isn’t hard to come by. You can arrive by yourself and leave with dozens of friends.
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Needless to say, I’ll be back. My dad needs to see this.
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Highmark Stadium review: It’s LOUD & a beer with a beer horn will run you $30
When I think of loud stadiums, I think of places like Autzen Field in Oregon or Arrowhead. Highmark Stadium IS LOUD. It’s loud from the second you walk in. The music being played pregame was LOUD, super loud. The in-game experience is the same thing. I’m talking piercing noise.
The other big takeaway for fans has to be concession pricing. Not that we should be shocked. I found this couple who just exited a concession room where they picked up the prized Bills beer horns and some food.
Here’s what you get for $113:
• Two beers (16 oz, I believe)
• Two of the prized beer horns – yes, they have lids so you don’t spill beer as you’re walking around
• A bucket of popcorn
• A personal pizza
Other food prices that I spotted:
• Souvenir bucket of popcorn: $19
• Dill pickle popcorn: $10
• Pierogies: $14
• Sweet Italian sausage on a sub roll: $14
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• Order of chicken wings (I assume you get six): $18
Other observations from Highmark:
– The concourses are a mess in the areas where they’re selling the beer horns. In one area of the 300 level, an escalator dumps fans into an area where fans had waited over an hour for the horns. “How long have you been waiting for a beer,” I asked one guy. “An hour and fifteen minutes,” the guy replied.
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I thought he was screwing with me. “Are you serious,” I fired back. That’s when others in line spoke up. He wasn’t lying. An hour or more wait was common.
But, if you were to ask a Bills fan if the lines, and prices, and insanely packed concourses were worth it after the Bills worked over the Lions in their new stadium, they’d tell you it was all worth it to watch Josh Allen have another career night. All was right in the world as long as you don’t look at your credit card statement.
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And with that, I’m going to close down my Buffalo operation and get home to Ohio. Thank you to Buffalo. It was a trip I won’t soon forget.
Have a great day. I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow.
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