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Amy Duggar King is still haunted by a scary encounter she had with her cousin Josh Duggar.
The “19 Kids and Counting” alum’s new book, “Holy Disruptor,” chronicles her experiences within the well-known Arkansas family beyond reality TV. In it, she details the scandal that shattered their once-wholesome image.
In 2015, TLC canceled the series after reports surfaced that Duggar, 37, had molested four of his young sisters and a babysitter. Weeks after the allegations were made public, Duggar King, 39, drove to her uncle’s house to demand answers.
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“He was extremely passive, non-responsive,” Duggar King told Fox News Digital about what it was like being face-to-face with her cousin.
“[He was] looking down at the floor for the longest time, didn’t have much to say at all. I was furious and red in the face, crying, just my heart beating so fast out of my chest.”
“He looked at me right into my eyes and said, ‘I knew better,’” said Duggar King. “And it was the creepiest smile I’ve ever seen.”
Authorities began investigating the abuse after receiving a tip from a family friend, The Associated Press reported. They concluded that the statute of limitations on any possible charges had expired.
“As I continued to stare directly into his eyes, a slow smile spread across his face,” Duggar King recalled in the book. “It was the kind of smile that sent shivers down my spine, a twisted grin that was unlocking a world of chaos, suffering and pain that was yet to come for my family.”
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Duggar King claimed that “just as the tension reached its peak,” her uncle Jim Bob Duggar barged in and said in a condescending tone, “Now, Amy, let’s not stir up contempt.” This enraged her.
“His son was a predator, and yet he was more worried about my language and tone of voice,” she wrote.
Fox News Digital reached out to Jim Bob, 60, for comment.
“This is just my opinion, we’ll just put that out there, [but] I think the reality was too much,” Duggar King told Fox News Digital about how her uncle dealt with the scandal.
“I think the harsh reality was heartbreaking, and it was too much. … But I don’t know what was going through his mind. I can’t really speak for my uncle, and I’m not going to, but I just know that if I were in that situation, I would have parented very differently.”
Duggar King said she and her mother first learned of the accusations when they made headlines.
“We didn’t know,” she said. “It came out on the news, and we had no idea. So we were blindsided. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to know what has gone on in my family, but I’m not afraid to be bold when it has to do with my cousins. I’ve always been really protective of them. I love them, and I want the very best for them.
“And so, when I found out that the girls were violated in such a hard way, I was like mama bear. I was like, that’s it. I am done with not knowing anything. I was never told anything, and no one was giving me any answers. And if no one’s going to talk to me or tell me what’s going on, then I’m going to find out myself.”
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“I’m not afraid to ask the hard questions,” she said. “And it’s not about me being a martyr, like, ‘Why didn’t you touch me?’ It’s not about me. But if he had tried, then I could have gotten help for the girls. I just feel like I could have done more if I had known more at the time. And it really is crazy to think that for so long, I was on the show, I had no idea. Not a clue.”
Duggar’s parents said that after the allegations resurfaced he confessed and apologized privately, The Associated Press reported. Duggar then apologized publicly for unspecified behavior and resigned as a lobbyist for the Family Research Council, a conservative Christian group.
The father of seven is currently serving a nearly 13-year prison sentence for receiving and possessing child pornography. Investigators testified that images depicting the sexual abuse of children were downloaded in 2019 onto a computer at a car dealership he owned.
“Obviously, after the first scandal, I was blown away, heartbroken,” said Duggar King. “But it also changed the way I view parenting and just how I want to educate my son at a very young age. … Because one day my son is going to be a young man. … I want him to be ready for the world, and I want him to know what the word ‘abuse’ is. I want him to know the places that are off limits.”
“It’s also changed how I view people,” she continued. “I used to easily trust, thinking, ‘They have a good heart because I do, so they must.’ [I realized] that’s not always the case. And so, I am very selective now about who I allow in my inner circle.”
In the book, Duggar King wrote that she reached out to her cousin’s fifth victim to tell her how sorry she was for what happened.
“She told me she is moving on and ready for a quieter life, and that she’s in a much better place now,” Duggar King wrote. “Josh, on the other hand, was barely held accountable for his actions, which is exactly why he was later caught in yet another heartbreaking scandal.”
Duggar King admitted that her relationship with her cousins, uncle and aunt is strained.
“I haven’t spoken to many of them in several years,” she said. “For me, boundaries are key. It’s not about rejection. It’s not that I don’t love them. It’s just one of those things where a lot has happened. … And it’s for those reasons that have led to my mom and me stepping back, having distance and putting up boundaries. And I think that’s a healthy thing to do. And because of the boundaries that we have in our lives, we can now live a more peaceful life.”
In her book, Duggar King described her cousins as “happily brainwashed” — not out of malice, but out of frustration at watching them grow up under the rigid teachings of Bill Gothard. In the series, she was labeled “Crazy Cousin Amy” for being different from them.
“They couldn’t slam a door, they couldn’t listen to the radio, they couldn’t watch a movie,” she explained. “They couldn’t just turn on the television and watch Saturday morning cartoons. They couldn’t wear jeans or shorts. There are a lot of things that they couldn’t do. They couldn’t hang out at the mall with their friends. They couldn’t experience dressing up as a Disney princess or any of that.”
“I’m a walking sin, and I guess I have always been,” she laughed to herself. “I’ve always enjoyed wearing jeans and shorts. … Why is it all a sin? And it’s just blindly following a teaching that maybe they didn’t ask questions about. My ‘happily brainwashed’ is a way of just saying, ‘I wish you would think for yourself.’ … [But], I’m really glad that they’ve come to their own now and a lot of them are wearing jeans and venturing out.”
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Duggar King remains hopeful that any of her cousins, ready to forge a new relationship, will reach out.
“I would tell my cousins if I saw them today that I love them and I want the very best for them,” she said. “I want them to live a very full life. And I want them to also question what they’ve been taught. … If they do start asking questions and if they do want a different way to live, or if they maybe are questioning just what they’ve all seen and what they’ve been taught, then I’m always going to be here for them.”
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