Family breakups over politics may hurt more than you think, expert says

A clinical psychologist is warning that the trend of cutting off family members over political differences, often promoted as “self-care” on social media, may actually fuel loneliness and worsen mental health.

“Cutting off your social support, cutting off your family members, creating loneliness and isolation for yourself, is actually the worst thing you can do for your mental health,” Dr. Chloe Carmichael told Fox News Digital. “That’s like eating Twinkies for health food.”

Carmichael, author of the new book “Can I Say That? Why Free Speech Matters and How to Use It Fearlessly,” argues that alienating loved ones over politics undermines family bonds, resilience, emotional well-being and freedom of expression.

Carmichael points to an increasing number of progressive young Americans who are choosing to sever ties with parents or relatives over their support for President Donald Trump. 

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“It’s unfortunate that we’ve seen an incredible trend of younger family members typically cutting off more senior family members, sometimes even their own parents,” she said.

She connects this trend to research from Tufts University showing liberals tend to report worse mental health than conservatives. According to her research, liberals are also more likely to engage in what she calls the “five Ds”: defriending on social media, putting distance in real life, dropping relationships, disinviting speakers and declining to date—all over political differences.

“I’m connecting these because we know that we’re in an epidemic of loneliness and we know that loneliness is not good for mental health,” Carmichael explained. “So if you’re part of a political demographic that tends to cut people off over political differences, then it’s not surprising to me that we are seeing that isolation-type behavior.”

Gallup data shows Americans’ assessment of their own mental health has grown increasingly negative over the past 24 years. The percentage of young adults ages 18 to 29 who report “excellent” mental health has dropped 27 points in the past decade, with young women reporting some of the steepest declines.

On social media, breaking ties with politically different family members is often framed as empowerment or self-preservation. Carmichael stressed that in cases of name-calling or physical threats, creating distance or boundaries is appropriate. But she cautions against using estrangement as the default response.

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“What we need to learn how to do is how to be resilient and how to have relationships. Even if we disagree, we can have a diversity of opinions and our lives will be richer for it,” she said.

She argues that the ability to freely express oneself leads to more authentic relationships and stronger social support, which acts as a “buffer” against mental health struggles. It also has a positive impact on the brain, she says.

“When we name our emotions, our amygdala activity has been shown to decrease,” Carmichael said. “The amygdala is the part of the brain that gets active when we’re fearful. So we want to get away from oppression, suppression and denial. We want to get more into authentic communication.”

So how do families navigate political tensions in their families? Carmichael emphasizes practicing what she calls “listening resiliently.”

“For example, if you’re listening to someone who’s saying things that you find very triggering or they make no sense to you, sometimes it can be helpful to just practice, how many questions can I ask in a row before I feel the need to jump in with my own opinion?” she said.

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She also encourages recalling moments when one’s own views have shifted. 

“Maybe this person is going through their own similar moment. So we want to stir our compassion and our ability to just listen curiously, even if we disagree with someone,” she said.

For those who struggle to speak up, she recommends preparation and support, such as alerting a colleague before raising a sensitive point at work or role-playing conversations in advance. She also suggests reviewing workplace or university speech policies to better understand one’s rights.

Carmichael believes free speech and open dialogue not only improve mental health, but also reduce bullying and polarization.

“We are not stuck in a false choice between free speech versus hate speech and bullying taking over our lives,” she said. “When we give people the tools to communicate effectively, that’s when we actually decrease problems like bullying and violence and the types of true, intense problems that we want to avoid.”

“If we really want to fight misinformation, what we need is to have open dialogue that’s able to be scrutinized, examined and debated,” she added. “And that’s how we’ll actually come to the truth.”

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Her book arrives as some liberal media figures continue to encourage shunning Trump-supporting family members after Trump’s 2024 victory.

Just days after the election, a psychiatrist on former MSNBC host Joy Reid’s show suggested that it might be healthier to distance from Trump-supporting loved ones during the holidays. 

“There is a push, I think just a societal norm that if somebody is your family, that they are entitled to your time, and I think the answer is absolutely not,”  Dr. Amanda Calhoun, chief psychiatry resident at Yale University, said last November.

In a July essay for New York Magazine, writer Sarah Jones similarly argued that neutrality in relationships “doesn’t exist” and that sometimes cutting off family members over political disagreements is the right course of action.